Tuesday, December 13, 2011
Waiting for Answers
Many years ago during a difficult trial I found myself scribbling out my thoughts in a spiral notebook. The words came, "afraid of getting answers that I don't want to hear, so I stand still." My heart already knew the answer to my specific pleading was, "No. Not this time. Not yet." When I was finally ready to accept the answer, I recieved a gentle, "No, Lynley. Not yet." I look back on that answer with so much gratitude, though at the time it was a heartwrenching struggle.
While I would love to post a Daily December page and pretend that life is simply full of crafts and holiday cheer, I don't have the energy to do that today. I'm just not feeling too well. Despite my best efforts to do it all, my body just doesn't keep up. Waiting once again for more test results. Hoping that for once they will lead to answers. I feel like I am getting closer to an answer, but if not... I can accept that too. I'm really trying to have faith and hope here.