Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Waiting for Answers


Many years ago during a difficult trial I found myself scribbling out my thoughts in a spiral notebook. The words came, "afraid of getting answers that I don't want to hear, so I stand still." My heart already knew the answer to my specific pleading was, "No. Not this time. Not yet." When I was finally ready to accept the answer, I recieved a gentle, "No, Lynley. Not yet." I look back on that answer with so much gratitude, though at the time it was a heartwrenching struggle.

While I would love to post a Daily December page and pretend that life is simply full of crafts and holiday cheer, I don't have the energy to do that today. I'm just not feeling too well. Despite my best efforts to do it all, my body just doesn't keep up. Waiting once again for more test results. Hoping that for once they will lead to answers. I feel like I am getting closer to an answer, but if not... I can accept that too.  I'm really trying to have faith and hope here. 

With Hope,
L

5 comments:

Becky said...

I have received the "No" answer on many ocassions. So frustrating when you have righteous desires. Just remember something that I have to remind myself everyday...Not my will but Thine. Also, as much as is doesn't seem to be the case, you will not be tried beyond what you are able to handle. This doesn't mean you won't be pushed to the absolute edge of it. I think these moments are when we truely grow stronger mentally and more importantly, spiritually.

Laura Nielson Baxter said...

Hang in there, buddy! I have complete faith in your ability to overcome this!

Whitney said...

I'm sorry Lynley! "No" is a hard answer. "Wait" is a hard answer too, sometimes even harder than no. I just feel for you! Please keep me posted on if they find anything out. I'm thinking about you and praying for you. Love you!

Stephanie said...

You are more than "just" a sister to me, LJ. You are also one of my dearest friends. It makes me sad to know you are hurting, but I am so impressed by your grace and faith in the face of these trials and unanswered questions. You are a wise woman and a strong woman; the Lord know this more than anyone and I pray that He will continue to bless you.

Unknown said...

I'm sorry it is such a difficult time for you right now and has been for some time. You're in my thoughts and prayers. I know prayers are answered. I also know it can be so hard to wait for those answers. Heavenly Father loves you Lynley! I also know that He is very aware of you and your desires, dreams, fears, and frustrations. Sometimes it is hard to feel Him with you, but be assured that He IS! Love You! Jenee