Lessons in Confidence

My little face and eyes are finally starting to look more normal. Every day they are slightly better, but the reduction in swelling and redness has been very gradual. What a strange thing it has been to have had such a noticable "condition" this week. It would be easy to hide away from the world, but life doesn't work that way. I had things that needed to be done--and they weren't waiting for me to feel or look better.

The other day I had to go to the mall to pick up a stamp at the scrapbooking store... If going to the doctors office had been embarassing, how could I face the mall?! All those trendy people, and teenagers?! I tried to think of a way of out of it, but in order to meet my deadline, I had no other choice. There wasn't going to be time to wait until I felt more presentable. I told myself, "Lynley, this is a lesson in confidence!" Silly, I know, but for me this was a brave thing to do. I knew that my swollen face and red rash all around my eyes was very noticable, and I wondered what people would think. I had a few strange looks, like one young man who seemed to strain to take a closer look, I presume he was trying to see what was wrong with me--and really I can't blame him, it was kind of fascinating. Overall, though, I was really impressed with how "normal" my trip to the mall actually was. Nobody said anything mean, the store clerk was pleasant and helpful, and other than MY OWN insecurities, it was as if nothing about me was actually different. I held my head high as I walked back through the mall and out to the parking lot.

Cute little Mauri was a bit frightened when she first saw me, but after I explained that my eyes were "sick," she shrugged her shoulders and asked if I wanted to go "play school" with her. She wanted to know if Dolly and Danny had sick eyes too and has insisted on calling to check on me throughout the week. She was quick to see past outward appearances and treat me like normal.

Funny how I keep going back the word "normal." Perhaps normal=accepted. I think there's more to that for me to ponder and learn...

Lessons learned:

• Confidence and beauty come from within.
• Most people are truly kind-hearted and aren't going to poke fun of others.
• Most people are understanding and can recognize when someone is sick or struggling. 
• Hold your head high, even when you feel like your weaknesses are on display--other's don't notice or worry about them as much as you do
• When you see someone who looks different, it's not your job to analyze them or take a closer look. Just smile and treat them normally. 
• Recognize that others are naturally curious, and don't take offense if they do take a closer look. (I'm certain I have been the one to look a little closer on many occassions

L

Snowy Days

That's my sweet little Doll Bear loving her some snow! (She must get that from Danny. He loves the snow--even driving in it! Silly boy.) I'm glad they can appreciate it. As for me, I'm counting down till Spring. As far as I'm concerned, nothing good comes of a snowy day. (yesterday proved that to be true) Okay, well... the snow IS really pretty and it DOES make my husband and puppy happy, so those are good things. Oh, and it makes for a some pretty beautiful photos too, but other than that...

As for yesterday's no good snowy bad day, boy oh boy did I develop a spectacular allergic reaction! The other night my eyes were bothering me and my face felt unusually sore and tender. I woke up yeterday morning with my eyes swollen shut. My face was so swollen I hardly recognized myself. I gotta say, it wasn't a pretty sight to behold. I tried to take a benadryl and stay inside, (not wanting to face the public) but it only got worse as the day went on. After a nice trip to the doctor and a lovely shot in the you-know-where, a lot of the swelling has gone down. Now I'm just sporting some fancy red racoon eyes. Hoping it all clears up soon, and that I can figure out the cause. As for now, the doctor took me off my new Fibromyalgia medication, thinking it may have been the culprit. Hoping I can find a medication that my body doesn't reject one of these days!

I blame the snow;)

L

Confessions of a Perfectionist

• Standing up for myself is painfully difficult, and in the rare moments that I do... I spend hours rethinking what I said and worrying about it. "I should have..." "I shouldn't have..." (this happened yesterday)
• Trying to learn that sometimes DONE is better than PERFECT. I have piles of "unfinished" projects and it's time to commit to the "final touches" and call them complete.
• Lately I've had a hard time giving myself credit for the things that I do well. Time to stop comparing myself to everyone else and celebrate my own strengths.
• Appearances can be deceiving. Learning that if it looks perfect on the outside, I probably don't know the whole story.
• Antidotes I'm finding to perfectionism: honesty, faith, confidence, unselfishness, forgiveness, gratitude, etc.
• Publishing vulnerable posts like is very uncomfortable. Select All and Delete= very tempting.

I'm curious, what do you do to fight perfectionsim? Any insights you have on this matter that you'd like to share?

L

Life from the Passenger Seat: Wildlife

When viewing life from the passenger seat I'm always on the lookout for something beautiful. I don't know if you know this about me, but I'm pretty much a huge fan of spotting creatures in wildlife. Seeing a bird of prey is always a happy occasion... one which generally evokes a spontaneous dance and victory cheer! True. It seriously makes my day! Sunday drive and a bird of prey= a very happy Lynley.

L

Dining Out

I love the social aspects of dining out-- I enjoy the atmosphere, the social gathering, the lights, the decor, etc. I could, however, do without the food. I could do without paying extra (GF food is always pricer than the regular menu items) to be sick--without fail... every single time. No matter how "gluten free friendly" a restruant is, most meals out just don't work for me. I've accepted it, and I'm really not complaining here, just stating the facts. There are many health and financial perks in avoiding eating out. I've learned to love simple healthy food. I love trying new recipes, and making things that even "normal" people "actually" enjoy;)

We enjoyed a lovely evening out with Danny's family over the weekend. The food tasted very good and I appreciated the efforts of the restraunt staff to make it gluten free; nevertheless, it still wasn't a dining out success in terms of health. While everyone else was busy eating and enjoying their meals, I decided to snap some photographs of the lovely dining scene. I may no longer be able to eat the bread and pasta, but I can still appreciate their asthetic value!

I love these black and whites... That first shot of the water glasses and menus takes me right back to a quaint little italian bistro we visted in Paris. (Those were very happy dining days.) I love the crowded feeling of the glasses and condiments on the table; they so perfectly depict the story of a large family gathering to dine together.

The shot with the bread and butter actually evokes a lot of emotions for me. Interesting how very tied to our emotions food can be. Just last night while watching a favorite local television show, The Food Nanny, I cried listening to the host talk about baking bread with her mother and grandmother. Tears. Serious tears. Interestingly enough, it's not the food itself that I miss anymore, it actually runs a lot deeper than that. I suppose in part, feeling excluded from the traditional family meal has brought about a loss of sharing and connectedness. I guess that's why I enjoy cooking and sharing the food that I can eat with others. It gives me back some of those moments that celiac took away.

For the most part, it's really just best for me to avoid eating out, but now and than it's nice to remember that feeling of holding a menu in my hands, being waited upon, and enjoying the company of friends and family in a lovely dining setting away from home.

Evidenlty, blogging these photos was also rather theraputic;)

L

Lucky To Have Him

Well aren't we just cute?! I took some family pictures over the weekend for the Johnsons while Danny's sister was in town. After lots of group shots, I asked Danny's mom to snap a few pictures of us--I'm so glad I thought to ask, because I just love them! I'm feeling pretty good about keeping my resolution to take more pictures of us together!

I'm so proud of my Danny who is now the newest member of our ward bishopric. He's simply wonderful and so willing to serve others. (Turns out being the wife of a member of the bishopric means lots of cold dinners, and sitting alone on Sundays... but I'm certain it will also bring many blessings into our family!) I'm sure proud of my Danny! I'm very lucky to have him.

L

This is What Carefree Looks Like

Carefree:

Adjective: free from anxiety or responsibility; without worry
Synonyms: happy-go-lucky, lighthearted, jaunty

Miss M. was busy twirling and singing when I snapped this picture. She's such a happy, carefree, sweet little girl! I sure love her!

I'm busy working away on lots of projects and excited to share new ideas, new pages, and a new scrapbooking blog soon... Can't wait to share!

L