Showing posts with label creativity. Show all posts
Showing posts with label creativity. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Fight Your Way Through it...


I love this little video about creative work by Ira Glass. I find it so inspiring and encouraging!

I'm a creative soul--I guess that means a lot of fighting my way through things. I stress out easily when projects become too fussy, complex, or logical. When I was young I struggled with dyslexia. Reading was difficult, but math was the bigger challenge. I still have a hard time putting things in order and retaining facts and figures. There's a reason why my Danny is the accountant, and I am the artist; But even music and art have some foundations in mathematics. Throughout my life I've figured out the "Lynley way" to do things, and for the most part it works for me. However, I find that when people question me about the theory or technique behind something, I kind of panic. Most of my methods are unconventional and difficult to articulate. I'm not really one who can spout off proper terminology on the spot.

I play piano quite nicely by ear. I can read music decently, but it never sounds that good in my opinion. The moment when I stop trying to hit all the "right" notes on the page, and just play from the heart, I can hit all the "right" notes on the keys-- mind you, not necessarily the same ones annotated on the page, but my own "right" interpretation. My own arrangements are so much more enjoyable to play, and listen to I think;) They are often far more complex and interesting than the written version. Looking back, I'm so grateful for a piano teacher who was willing to recognize that I learned differently, and taught me accordingly; She gave me the tools to improvise, to make music my way. I can't really explain how I do it, the music just comes.

When I create scrapbook pages I often find myself thinking, "what would so-and-so do?" I could spend hours trying to make a page that resembles somebody else's artwork, but the moment I stop trying to create like someone else, and am true to my own style, it all comes together quite effortlessly. I've found that I don't work well when trying to approach a creative endeavor with someone else's formula or sketch. Perhaps that's why molding to the required corporate style was such a struggle for me. I thrive when being true to my own creative identity.

With photography, if I get too caught up trying to get the manual settings right, I can lose sight of what I really love--the composition, the moment, the subject. When I first set out to shoot strictly in manual I knew that my photos would likely become worse before they got better. It was easy relying on the automatic settings, but I knew that if I really wanted to create great pictures, I would have to learn the proper technique. I hoped that in time I would have the tools necessary to better capture the moment, without relying on the camera to do the thinking. I've learned a great deal through trial and error and daily practice. I don't know all the right terminology, nor do I always feel confident that I will get the "perfect" shot, but I have come a long way. In my efforts to learn, sometimes I can get frustrated and disappointed, but I have to remember to stop and appreciate the moment. Not to let my desire for perfection get in the way of my love for the imperfect, beautiful, and real moments that I seek to capture.

I'm learning to embrace my own unique voice and vision with confidence. I'm learning that the "Lynley way" of doing things is special, and though I don't always know all the proper terms or techniques, that doesn't take away from my abilities. Fight your way through it. Keep creating. Don't get discouraged, and don't give up. Well said, Mr. Glass.

L

Friday, April 8, 2011

Perfectionism and Creativity


I have struggled a great deal lately finding value in the creative work I'm doing. I have prayerfully considered giving up scrapbooking and photography altogether for a time, but I don't think that is necessary or even right. It felt like trying to force a break-up with someone I knew I loved! I'm not going to run away from my creative pursuits, but I am willing to shift my focus in order to find peace. 
I reached a breaking point a few weeks ago where it became clear that in order to restore my creative spirit, it was essential to step back and evaluate myself, and the motivation behind my creative endevors. In discussing these concerns with fellow artists, and tuning into numerous blogs in the scrapbooking and design industry, I think I am not alone in my conflicted feelings. It seems many of us are silently dissatistied with our own creative contributions.
I have always had an innate need to express myself creatively--whether it be through drawing, photography, scrapbooking, or other forms of crafting. So why the frustration lately? Where did the joy go? I'm on a journey to understand. My creative soul must be restored, and despite the temptation to sign up for trendy (and expensive) retreats with claims of reawakening creativity, I feel it is something only I can do. 
Danny and I took a little trip to the bookstore the other night and I picked up a remarkable book called The Gifts of Imperfection by Brene Brown. I had previously seen it recommended on the well known scrapbooker Ali Edward's blog. I've read the book this week, and coupled with loads of inspiration from the recent LDS General Conference and Young Women meeting, I've made a few observations: 
1. I look to other scrapbooking and design blogs for inspiration, but this can become dangerously addictive and dissatisfying. While I know the truth of my own blog posts, I only see the appearance of perfection among blogs I follow. PERFECT PAGES. PERFECT PHOTOS. PERFECT LIVES. How could I ever measure up to that?
2. Having worked as a professional scrapbooker under the coorporate name, I felt invisible and sought recognition and praise for the work I did. In setting out on my own, I haven't yet had any submissions accepted, and now feel even less visible... and unfortunately, less valuable. Like it or not, I've connected public praise with personal value.
3. Shame. With a quest for humility, authenticity, and a sure knowledge of my divine worth, seeking for recognition and belonging among said blogs/bloggers comes with feelings of shame and embarrassment. Why do I desire worldly success when I KNOW what really matters most?
So there you have it. Pefectionism, pride, and shame (in a nutshell)... a perfect recipe for dissatisfaction and emotional distress. It's no wonder my creative spirit and emotional stamina have been in peril. My spiritual self knows better, but the fight against the natural man is real and daunting. This post is vulernable, yet in addressing these concerns I hope to find peace.
I'm excited to share some of the insights I've been learning here, even/especially if the only "value" that comes from it is my own personal growth. That is enough for me. Along with photos, creative work, and the stories I tell...I want to share my honest journey in the fight against perfectionism, and the things I am learning about myself along the way.
With Hope,
L