Weighty Matters

"You look good." These words have been on my mind a lot lately. No, no... don't get me wrong, that's not a self-indulgent compliment. Read on. There was a time when I longed to hear someone say I looked good or pretty. It built my self-confidence and made me feel special, not in a conceited manner, but in a genuine appreciation for a compliment.

In order to explain how those words have changed, allow me to deviate for just a moment.

I started to get sick. I don't talk about this too much here, because who wants to discuss their gastrointestinal health in a public venue? The details aren't pretty. For some reason my body seemed to be rejecting everything I ate. I had always struggled with stomach problems, but it was becoming increasingly frequent and debilitating. I had my gallbladder removed and hoped I would start feeling better soon thereafter. It only got worse from there. In a matter of months I had lost over thirty pounds. I was sick.

Throughout that time, people started telling me, "You look good, what are you doing?" I couldn't believe it. I felt terrible, and yet others were applauding my weight loss. People I didn't know that well were suddenly comfortable sharing their opinions about my body. I tried to joke about it and brush it off as much as possible, but it wasn't easy.

I know some thought I had an eating disorder. Others seemed to think it was all in my head. I was physically depleted and losing the emotional strength to cope with a health crisis and the added social dynamics.

I began a gluten and dairy free lifestyle and am still working towards recovery. I have good days and bad days. My weight fluctuates, as does my health.

These days, when I run into people who saw me at my worst, they all seem to say the same three words, "You look good." I try to receive them graciously knowing they mean to be supportive. But I guess I kind of wonder if they're really saying, "Your face isn't so gaunt anymore and you have curves again." It just makes me feel awkward and embarrassed. Sometimes I just wish they would ask how I'm doing without the assessment of my outward appearance. It's uncomfortable feeling like others are so aware of every pound lost or gained.

I know the real weighty matter is my own perception. I need to stop worrying about what others think and come to terms with my own body, no matter its current size or condition. I am grateful for my body. I am grateful for what's on the inside. I think I look good on the inside.

How About a Picnic?

Snow Snow Snow. I'm thinking some sunshine and a little picnic sound really good right about now. What about you? In case you're wondering, 23 Days: 5 hours: 34 min: 30 seconds and counting... till SPRING!!!

The little cutie above is AJ. I took some photos for Associated Foods at a family picnic last Spring. Word on the street is, you may see some of my images in local Associated Foods store ads this coming spring/summer! We'll have to wait and see, but just knowing they liked my work was a great compliment!

This photo of AJ was featured in my Baby Face Layout in a recent Creating Keepsakes magazine! He's so adorable and his little hat is very on trend! (matches my new blog design perfectly!)

Looking forward to sunny days, picnics, and happy little photoshoots in the Spring! I have so many fun ideas of photos I want to take and pages I want to create! Let me know if you'd like to be a part of the fun! I'd love to shoot you! Well, that didn't sound right... But seriously, I'd love to take your picture;)

With Love,
L

Adventure Awaits

Danny and I are planning a trip to El Salvador this coming summer. He served his mission there and is excited to return for the dedication of a temple in his area. I gotta say, I'm a little nervous about the trip, but I think it will be an amazing opportunity. For one thing, when Danny talks about his mission I'll be able to relate to him a little better. Also, I've never attended a Temple Dedication on site, but I can only imagine how special and sacred it will be. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity, so we are saving our pennies and preparing for an adventure!

By the way, I'm also really excited to take pictures there!! I snapped the shot above in El Quelite, Mexico last year. How beautiful are those flowers? They are so vibrant and unusual! You just can't get shots like that around here!

With Hope,
L

J & K Engagements

Saturday was a rainy, snowy, wet day!! Despite the unfavorable conditions, Jetta and Kyle were great sports! The lighting was really quite stunning and it made me want to shoot in bad weather more often;) Thanks to Danny for holding an umbrella over the camera the entire time... He saved the day!!

Thanks Jetta and Kyle for letting me shoot your engagements! You make a lovely couple and I am so happy for you both!

With Love,
L

More Than a Princess

I just love this page of Miss Mauri! The title, More than a Princess, comes from the book The Story People. I haven't read it yet but it's on my library list. I heard the following quote from it once and thought it was quite cute.

"Are you a princess? I said & she said I'm much more than a princess, but you don 't have a name for it yet here on earth."


I think I know the name for it... She's more than a princess, she's an angel. 


Enjoy!
L

Happy 100th

Photo by the Fabulous Whitney

SURPRISE! Just in time for my 100th post I decided to dress things up a bit here on the old blog! One night as I was drifting off to sleep I had visions of a hot air ballon carrying a pink bicycle below! I set to work designing my new blog header and I absolutely love it! Hope you enjoy!!

With Love,

L

Lady Antebellum - Hello World

I actually think very carefully about what I post here on my blog. Although I was excited to show the page I've been working on, I found myself thinking there was something else I should share today. This beautiful song by Lady Antebellum came to mind. I hope you'll take a few moments out of your day to watch their touching video. It really reminds me to stop and appreciate the beautiful things in life. Family, faith, love... that's what it's really all about.

With Hope,

L

I Like You

I made this cute little card for the front showcase display at CTMH a while ago. I've been saving it for the perfect occasion to give to my Danny. I love the little vintage silhouettes! So cute!! All products are CTMH exclusive. 

I've had more artwork published with CTMH than I could ever begin remember. Thought I'd let you know that my work is currently featured in the Spring 2011 Idea book. Simply go to the CTMH site and click on products and the online idea book link. All of the following pages are mine: Pages 26-29, 60-61, 76, 82-83, and the right side of page 131. Enjoy! 

With Love, 

L

Lots of Love

Valentines 2011: A Lovely Day!

Bird Watching: spotted 2 love birds

Made and delivered valentines to young women

Celebrated the day with Dad and Mauri

Made a special dinner for my Valentine, Danny

Valentines Day was perfect:) Hope your day was lovely too! Today I'm working on a page of Mauri that is turning out really cute! Can't wait to share soon!

With Love, 

L

Happy Love Day!

This morning it feels like spring! The sun is shining, the birds are chirping, and love is in the air. I got the most beautiful colorful roses delivered right to by doorstep! Danny always says I'm the color in his life. Cute huh?! Thanks babe, I love them and I love you more;)

For those of you not celebrating the gushy stuff today, I hope you'll celebrate the love of friendship, family, and life. Watch this little video for some beautiful thoughts on love by our modern day Prophet, Thomas S. Monson.

With Love,
L

I Love You More

"I love you." Danny would say.

"I love you more!" I'd reply.

"No, I love you more!" he'd retort.

Yep, we were that obnoxious dating couple who'd argue about who loved whom the most. But one day my cute Danny said he thought about it, and "I love you more" actually meant a little more;) It was no longer just a cute thing to tease about, it was true. He said that each day he really did love me more. Our love continues to grow stronger everyday. He is my best friend and I love him more, and more, and more.

With (more) Love,
L

Celebrate Love

I've made a collection of Valentines Day images that I thought I'd share here and there over the next few days. You might remember the heart I discovered in the wall of ivy at Spark the Event a few months ago. By simply pushing back a few limbs, I unveiled a beautiful heart just waiting to be discovered. People started taking photos immediately and I ended up seeing it on a bunch of blogs after the event;) In keeping with the feeling of the season, let's take a moment today and push aside whatever it is that keeps our hearts hidden. I'm excited to approach the day with an open heart, celebrating life and love.

This just in:

A quick update on my Studio 5 contest project: I wasn't a finalist this time (sigh) but they have a posted some of their favorites on the Studio 5 Facebook page. (I just googled studio 5 tv facebook and it took me right there.) On the left-hand side of the page under photos is a link that says $5 challenge. Click on it and you'll see the photo of my rustic chandelier along with some other awesome entries. Thanks to all of you Facebookers out there who have left such nice comments on my project and if you are new here to my blog, thanks for stopping by! Looking forward to sharing some really fun ideas I have up my sleeve... good things to come:)

With Love,
L

S & J Guest Book

Stephanie and John: Wedding Guest Book. Of course you know I'll have to add more pages with wedding photos! I left a few blank spots for Steph and John to do their own journaling. I'm also planning on doing some hand stitching on several of them, but there was only so much time before the wedding! Point is, if a couple of the pages look incomplete... it's because they are;) Embrace my quest for im-perfectionism! I gotta say, they were a bit different than my usual style, but I like how they turned out:) I especially love the little dictionary paper flowers I created for my literary-minded sis. Thanks Steph and John for letting me do the photos and pages! Enjoy!

Lookin' Good!

Just a few shots of family members at the wedding. Everyone was looking great! May I point out that Becky created the beautiful pleating and flower on her purple sweater and she made Mauri's adorable dress and cape. She is SO talented!! Someday maybe I can be like her!

Turns out I didn't really take very many pictures with the busyness (and coldness) of the day. I'm hoping McKenzie got one of Danny and I together. Otherwise, we'll just have to get dressed up again and use the old self-timer.

Looks like the sun finally came out so I can shoot the guest book pages! Stay tuned:)

With Love,
L

Mr. and Mrs.

 

Saturday was absolutely beautiful! It was a day of celebration and love. Ah, I wish I could tell you just how special it all was. I am so happy for Stephanie and John! The fabulous and ultra-talented photographer McKenzie shot the wedding, but I couldn't resist snapping just a few photos myself. Stephanie and John are a stunning couple! They just looked so classy, she in her gorgeous vintage dresses and he in uniform. It was a picture perfect day. Congratulations to the happy couple! The best is yet to be.

Don't worry, I'll share the guest book pages and more photos soon!

With Love,
L

Hope for Healing

I've written and deleted a post about this subject a dozen times. Today I think I'll push that publish button in the end. Perhaps. Have you ever been disliked? Or have you ever unintentionally hurt someone and tried to make amends, but to no avail? I don't know exactly what it means about me, but I've run into this situation more than once in recent years. I can honestly say that I have never intended to hurt others with my actions. I'm a deeply sensitive and empathetic person. I'm human and make mistakes, but I certainly try to make restitution for those offenses. I have tirelessly tried to repair said hurts and have shed more tears than imaginable.

Recognizing your own faults and seeking for restitution is a beautiful experience, but what about when the other person just isn't ready to let go or move forward? Honoring their agency while continuing to love and serve them can be a challenge. Not beating myself up over these conflicted relationships has been a struggle. I'm often left thinking, "What more can I do?" "If only I had..." When someone you love and care for sees you as the enemy, it is deeply painful. Perhaps it's that pride or perfectionism that makes it so hard to accept another's agency when it is turned against you. I pray for healing, not just to be right or accepted, but with sincere interest in the souls involved.

The book The Bonds that Make us Free: Healing our Relationships, Coming to Ourselves by C. Terry Warner has changed my life. I frequently read and study the principles of this powerful book. It is perfectly inline with the gospel of Jesus Christ and I have deep respect for the author. He has touched my life for good and the effects of his kindness have changed my course eternally. His book discusses how to look at ourselves and recognize our own responsibility in relationships. I constantly remind myself that I am the only one who can control my thoughts and behavior. Warner writes about scenarios similar to the ones I mention in my own life. He explains that even if the other person never chooses to forgive, we can love and respect them and honor their agency. I am in charge of my own reaction, and when my efforts of love are rejected, I must not give in to the temptation to fight. I must not find evidence to feel justified in returning fire with fire. With hope, someday sincere love might just break those barriers that seem insurmountable.

Let it be said that I'm certainly not perfect, and I have made my fair share of mistakes, bringing me to my knees in sorrow. Apologies have been made, life carries on, and hope remains in my heart.

I know there is one who understands my sorrow perfectly, and I turn to him for strength to continue, even when efforts seem to be in vain.

“And the world, because of their iniquity, shall judge him to be a thing of naught; wherefore they scourge him, and he suffereth it; and they smite him, and he suffereth it. Yea, they spit upon him, and he suffereth it, because of his loving kindness and his long-suffering towards the children of men.” ² 
1 Nephi 19:9

With Hope,
L

Hands

This morning Danny asked when my thinking time is. I'm not sure my brain ever really stops, but I guess my best time to think is when I do the dishes and tidy up the house. While tidying up I noticed how rough and dry my hands are looking. I pondered about the significance of hands.

When I was a child I suffered an injury that nearly destroyed the ability to use my right hand. Doctors told my parents it would take numerous reconstructive surgeries to repair my little hand. My father placed his hands upon my head and blessed me. The experience is one I hold sacred, and without going into more details, I experienced a miracle of healing. I am truly grateful for the restoration of my hands, and the hands that blessed me.

I can't think of hands without thinking of my dear mother. I think she has the most beautiful hands I've ever seen. Her hands are a symbol of love, sacrifice, endurance, and kindness. Her hands, though scarred with the effects of Rheumatoid Arthritis, are constantly in use on behalf of others. She teaches, comforts, uplifts, and creates with her lovely hands. Despite the pain, she continually uses them for good. I am constantly in awe of the beautiful work she does crocheting intricate blankets and flowers to share with others. Her hands show her goodness and love. I am grateful for her hands that have raised, comforted, and served me throughout my life.

Want to read a beautiful talk about hands? Go here.

My hands are busily working on finishing up that guest book! Can't wait to share:)

With Love,
L

Goodbye Perfectionism

This was the camera my dad took on his mission to Hong Kong in the 1960's. I love it!

Yesterday I shared some of my thoughts about art and photography, and the war against perfectionism and criticism. Not sure if I got my main point across. I let the fear of failure keep me from something I loved for a really long time. Working in the design and marketing field, everything I did had to fit someone else's definition of perfect. It was often hard to feel satisfied with my work under those circumstances. I am learning to stop listening to the negative voices of criticism, those from without and within. Each day I am improving, learning, and growing. I am fighting the war against perfectionism, and it feels good.

"What you create doesn’t have to be perfect... Don’t let fear of failure discourage you. Don’t let the voice of critics paralyze you—whether that voice comes from the outside or the inside." President Dieter F Uchtdorf

Whatever it is you want to do, go out there and try!

With Hope,
L

PS: Today I am busy working on Steph's guest book!! That's right, it's wedding week!! So exciting!